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*Editor’s note: Names of some of the interviewees have been changed for privacy.
Annette Wheeler* didn’t recall the exact moment she first heard the term “cougar,” but she did remember dashing to her computer to look it up.
“I can’t explain why, but I’ve always been,” she said, pausing.
And I don’t know if it’s a function of I’m attracted to younger guys or younger guys are attracted to me. Younger guys seem to have more to contribute to my life, and they’re just adorable.” The AARP study concludes that the No.
It’s just their energy, their enthusiasm” and—the biggie—“less baggage.” In fact, the stuff of the past may be what keeps her from dating men closer to her age altogether. “They’re always going on and on about their exes and the kids,” she said of her male peers. And being stuck in the music they listened to in college. 1 complaint from both single men and single women—42 percent and 35 percent, respectively—dating in their 50s was the history a partner of the same age carried into a relationship.
“These older women are confident, sexually mature, they don’t have inhibitions, they know what they like, and they know what they want,” said Nancy D.
O’Reilly, clinical psychologist, researcher, author and host of Voice America’s radio program “Timeless Women Speak.” Cougars are independent, career-oriented women who have a been-there-done-that attitude towards marriage and “don’t need anyone to take care of them,” she said.
“They don’t mind at all what age she is as long as she’s vital and gorgeous or something attracts them.
Young men have no fear now of being put down by their peers when there’s cougars like Demi Moore and all these beautiful women around, and they say, ‘My gosh, I would love to bed her!
Men, of course, have their reasons for dating older women, too.
In the fast-paced world of Los Angeles, “dating” may mean going out a few times or spending just one night together.
The self-proclaimed cougar wrote her first book on the topic — Younger Men: How to Find Them, Date Them, Mate Them, and Marry Them — 14 years ago, “and let me tell you something,” she said in a whisper. While there’s no denying that cougars are slinking into the mainstream, there’s still an element of taboo surrounding these age-spanning relationships.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating