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On a brighter note I wish all of my friends a very Merry Christmas and to my dominant lady friends who don't need to be named as they aknow who they are Season's Beatings and may they indulge in such on some poor submissive male or female's bare arse, add a stripe or two from me. Being involved in the adult industry has given me the opportunity to meet many beautiful ladies both online and in the real world.

It's been a few years since I met Red, my doesn't time fly, and this redheaded woman is just as beautiful in reality as she is in her pictures.

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The loop on the crucifix was intact as was the gold chain that it had been hanging on yet it had come off and fallen to the floor. I now know there is an after life and that mum is with me.

Today is my BFFs Teresa May's birthday, not only is it her birthday but it's a very special one too.

My father handsome and proud with wavy jet black hair in his Naval Uniform sat next to my mother in all her glamorous finery, she has always been a glamorous women and always took great pride in her appearance. It's times like this that you realise that nothing, especially life, is forever.

As much as I don't want my mother to pass away, I don't want to watch her suffer which leaves me in a quandary for I know that her health is not going to improve, so what do I wish for?

Although she had a good innings, living to the ripe old age of ninety-three it doesn't make her loss any easier to bear.

Nothing is forever, the world keeps turning and life goes on and with the knowledge that one day it will be our turn to leave this mortal world for the next.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Since collecting my mother's jewellery from the undertakers I've been wearing her gold crucifix on a gold chain that also has two small pendants and one of her rings hanging on it.

It's heartbreaking to sit at her bedside and gasp for breath and looking the way she does which is like a living corpse when she was such an attractive women.

On the opposite side of the room to where I sit are photographs of her and my father when they were young and in their late teens that are placed upon a window sill.

It's extremely difficult to sit and watch the person who brought you up slowly slip away from you and to feel so helpless.

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