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They don’t get that, growing up, I might have felt more ugly because I was constantly told that being dark is ugly.“My parents also did pressure me to work hard and make a lot of money. I do want to do a lot of great things, but I do have a lot of self-doubt, and it was built by a lot of gender and cultural anxieties.”Ooh! How are you feeling about the prospect of your partner meeting your parents? It’s strange that I have this anxiety, because our mutual friends have assured me that he’s dated women of other cultures before. But again, you still always worry what are they going to say? What if in the middle of the dinner he decides he doesn’t want to be with me because it’s too culturally different?
”“I think I’m just terrified of getting to that point of having to go, ‘I really care about this person,’ but then to have them become this terrible person that looks down upon my family. But it’s something you have to figure out.”It feeds right into the general vulnerability of dating.“Yeah. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last year, and then I decided that I wanted to go on a date a week, and I met a lot of great people. It really opened my eyes up to the fact that, even though I still have anxiety about how I look and where I come from, I live in a very open city where people are incredibly lovely and open-minded.
That’s hard to remember sometimes, because I’ve also met people who would rather put their head in the sand than understand what you’re going through — even friends.“It’s incredibly difficult, and sometimes I’d rather be alone than have to put up with that.
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We’re all kind of transplants and from everywhere in the world.”So your father is Indian and your mother is Chinese, but they were both ex-pats — did your parents have cultural expectations around sex and dating for you when you grew up? But they would care about what he did for a living, that he earned enough money.
“So growing up with parents like that, they’re a bit more open-minded. Those things.“I think that’s changed a lot in the past 10 years. And they’re a lot more open — and I guess they have to be, because when they got together, it was an absolute social taboo. And I think even through today, my mother’s Chinese family isn’t that accepting of my father’s Indian family.
And it makes me sad because I know that there are a lot of women out there who have just given up because there are a lot of assholes who make them feel bad about themselves. I was in an abusive relationship previously with a long-term ex-boyfriend.
And it had a lot to do with the insecurities I had growing up.”Oh, I’m so sorry.“Yeah.
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