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Our culture mandates no "correct" grieving process, and grieving is unique to every individual, but most experts agree that men and women mourn in different ways.
Women are less likely than men to seek comfort in sex while grief endures, says a writer at hellogrief.org, citing one reason why a women who is dating a widower "might be amazed that he wants to make love to you." Silent brooding, isolation, and even anger are stock elements of male behavior, while women tend to "talk it out" with close friends.
Perhaps you are recently divorced and now you find yourself exploring available men online. Have you heard that widowers are great dates, who know what they want and are ready to get it?
Many widowers have been married to only one spouse.
"In my first months all my senses were either shut down or numb, so to start dating and risk falling in love, with the possibility of losing someone else dear to me, was just too much." Liebenow writes of his solo hiking in Yosemite, going through territory inhabited by bears, rattlesnakes, and mountain lions.
"I think that that might be way up there in terms of intensity, especially when I took additional risks and accidental death was a possibility." Abel Keogh, author of believes that a widower's impulse to find someone new is ultimately sex-related.
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Sociologist Katherine van Wormer suggests that a widower may find that sex can be an effective panacea.
Because it is an intense experience, sex is one of few activities with inherent power to offset the terrible pain of loss.
Denial of loss is a common thread in the grieving process, says van Wormer, recalling the Freudian-based idea that sex can be "a screen for terror." Author and blogger Mark Liebenow does not dismiss the idea of sex as escape, or even as self-therapy, though he says, "this wasn't my experience." He agrees that forceful behavior can help a man cope with losing someone dear.
"Sex in the early, raw stages of grief might be more of a distraction, a momentary pleasure," he says.
After Murphy missed a few weeks, she drew up the courage to tell him, 'I haven't seen your beautiful smile lately.'Now they are set to get married on July 29.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating