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While a porn addict desperately craves love and intimacy (something he is probably unaware of), he seeks it out in the exact place that will cause him to become less and less able to experience it.
Since this is a “process addiction,” versus a chemical addiction, it is so hard for wives to understand. There are many different compartments so that he can divide his life up into separate components that don’t touch each other.
This lack of understanding can cause numerous misconceptions to be held as truths and can postpone healing. His marriage and family can be in one compartment, his job in another…you get the point.
It is possible for your husband to love you, even though he is looking at pornography. This is a benefit when a man is fighting in a war and able to focus on the task at hand without worrying about his family back home.
But it also makes a man able to look at pornography without thinking about how it may hurt you or his marriage.
I specialize in counseling wives of sex addicts, and I often see women who haven’t told anyone about their husband’s addiction, sometimes for months or even years.
The lack of support available to spouses, and often inaccurate information being put out about partners of sexual addicts, can cause a wife to suffer additional trauma and feel like she is partially responsible for her husband’s behavior.
When a man becomes addicted to pornography, it can become a perceived need rather than a choice for him until he becomes willing to reach out for help.
His use of porn causes a release of the same chemicals involved when a drug is ingested.
Women’s brains are more like spaghetti where everything is connected.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating